The Evangelical Universalist Forum

$2: "The Bible Tells Me So" by Peter Enns (6 Nov 2018)


Just like Snopes and most pollsters, I made it up. That’s the american way, fer cryin’ out loud…

However, I challenge YOU to prove me wrong! :rofl::rofl:


Just for that. You have to read some zombie jokes, as punishment - from:

Hold, on. Just a second. It’s YOUR hypothesis. You need to test it and present the evidence first. Then I’ll prove you wrong. Now back to your punishment. :wink:

What are some of the best Zombie jokes?

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat their fingers separately!

Why did the zombie go to the hospital?
He wanted to learn a few sick jokes!

Why did the zombie lose the lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!

The baby zombie asks her mother “Mommy, do I have daddy’s eyes?” The mother says “Yes you do honey! Now eat them before they get cold!”

What’s a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head and shoulders!

What do you do if there’s a zombie coming towards you?
Hope it’s Halloween!

What did one zombie say to the other zombie when they were eating a comedian?
This tastes funny!

What streets do zombies like best?
Dead Ends!

What did the vegeterian say when turned into a zombie?

What did the zombie eat after its teeth were pulled out?
The dentist!

What did the zombie get an award for?

Why did the zombie cross the road?
He wanted to eat the chicken. It all tastes like chicken to a Zombie.

What did the zombie’s buddy say when he introduced him to his girlfriend?
Where the hell did you dig her up from?






Again, no. The world could have prayed. They could have shown love, even for the Nazis. They could have followed the teachings of Jesus.

To do the same thing to evil people as they have done to others, is to be just as evil as they.
I know that to follow the Jesus way, doesn’t make sense to our rational minds. But we must make up our minds. Are we going to recognize that the Jesus way is right? Or are we going to figure out for ourselves how to eliminate evil from the world.

Wars have been tried over and over. They are thought to solve the problem of evil people. WW2 was supposed to be the war that would end all wars. But it didn’t. Hitler’s regime killed 6 million Jews. Stalin’s killed many more of them than Hitler—only over a long period of time. Hitler killed many in gas chambers. Stalin killed many by slow, excruciating torture. And since Stalin’s day, there have been many more unjust wars. Resisting war by means of war has never solved the problem of human evil. In many cases, where LOVE was employed, there has been a mitigation of evil.


Say Dave. I have finished reading the book by Peter Enns. That’s quite a book. There’s much in it with which I agree—and also much with which I don’t.


Yep, I pretty much agree with you. Though overall I think he makes some arguments that are difficult to refute.
What did you like about the book?


I don’t agree with the pacifist point of view. Jesus’ command to turn the other cheek was about seeking revenge. This is totally different from self defense and /or allowing evil doers to run amuck, giving them free reign over society. There is a purpose for government. As it is said, the law is for good when used lawfully. Romans 13:3-4 says as well “For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil…For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.”


LLC replying to Paidion.

True martial arts and Christianity, are really very compatible. If one studies something like Jujitsu, Aikido or Kung Fu. And of the three, I resonate with Jujitsu (Japanese variety) and Aikido the best.

There’s usually a philosophy taught with it. When to use and when when not to use it. And if you combine it, with the Christian faith…then you are properly trained… when to fight and when not to fight.

Prayer - by itself - to solve ALL problems, would make us use the tool …like the Unity School of Christianity and Christian Science uses it. To solve ALL problems - even medical.

I’m sure if Kwai Chang Caine knew prayer…as well as he knew Kung Fu…he could CERTAINLY pray himself, out of the following situations???

But first, some advice from

Without doubt, meditation, Tai Chi, Qi Gong and other forms of mindfulness are essential for managing stress. But for some people, it’s hard to make time for anything but work, running errands, cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, and other quotidien affairs. Moreover, some people have absolutely no interest in learning how to meditate or practice healing arts.

And you can’t pray your way, out of the Watermelon monster. Which was brought to my attention by:

Bad Movies

Which brings this article, bearing great advice and counsel. And nowhere is prayer mentioned, as a way to end the epidemic:


“I am not lazy; I am on energy saving mode.”-- Author Unknown


I agree. This is where the wisdom of God is required. It would be very scary to live in a world in where there is no resistance to evil; where people just stand around and pray while you’re being raped and tortured. Not only this but we should offer such evil doers a plate of cookies and milk on top of it. Not very realistic to me.


When you have truly understood the heart of Jesus and His teachings, you will cease to trust your human instinct that it is right to resort to violence in order to defend yourself or others, or to participate in government activities that resort to violence, such as wars.

Leo Tolstoi came to understand this. Through personal experience of seeing the evil and hurt that emerged from his previous practices, he had a complete change of heart. He explained it in a writing entitled “My Religion.” Here is but one paragraph from that writing:

When, now, in a moment of forgetfulness, I yield to the impulse to resort to violence, for the defence of my person or property, or of the persons or property of others, I can no longer deliberately make use of this snare for my own destruction and the destruction of others. I can no longer acquire property. I can no longer resort to force in any form for my own defence or the defence of another. I can no longer co-operate with any power whose object is the defence of men and their property by violence. I can no longer act in a judicial capacity, or clothe myself with any authority, or take part in the exercise of any jurisdiction whatever. I can no longer encourage others in the support of tribunals, or in the exercise of authoritative administration.

This rich count who had amassed great wealth, and had owned huge tracts of land, when he had understood the heart of Jesus and His teachings, gave his wealth and lands to the peasants of Russia, and lived as a peasant himself for the rest of his life. If ever there were a serious disciple of Christ, it was he. Jesus said, as recorded in Luke 14:33

So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions. (NRSV)
So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.(NASB)
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. (NIV)
In the same way, therefore, every one of you who does not say good-bye to all his possessions cannot be My disciple. (HCSB)

Count Leo Tolstoi took the words of our Saviour seriously.


Paidion, from what I understand, the amount of possessions one owns has nothing to do with heart. A poor peasant can be just as evil as a rich man.

It seems to me that this guy has no heart. If he is capable of standing by and watching, while some murderer rapes, tortures and/or kills his loved ones right in front of his very eyes and does nothing to stop it, given that he had the power to do so, then I don’t think he understands love at all.


Paidion, what would you do if a couple guys with baseball bats broke into your house in the middle of the night?


When I taught school at one of the Hutterite communities (Hutterites practise Jesus’ teaching on non-resistance), I remember asking one of them a similar question. I asked, “If a man entered your house and began attacking your wife, what would you do?” He responded, “I don’t know what I would do. But I know what I should do!”


As Hebrews 10:26 says, For if we willfully sin after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment…"

It is common knowledge that theft and murder are wrong. If someone willfully enters your house with intent to cause you injury, then he is responsible for whatever may ensue.
Secondly, one is obligated to protect those whom God has placed in his/her care. In such a situation, the way I see it, you can either:
A) sacrifice your life to save your family
B) sacrifice your life and the lives of those you love for the criminal