From Americaâs shortest Anchorman:
" Accusations against President Trump in the Democratic drive to impeach him are so vague that they can mean anything â and nothing. Which is the point.
After all, when thereâs no crime, youâve to leave it to the imagination. And boy, is this "open to interpretation.â Itâs like a Rorschach test for the blind. Which suits the media perfectly.
Remember how this process was reverse-engineered. It wasnât âHereâs a crime, letâs impeach.â It was âLetâs impeach and hope we find the crime.â
Itâs the holiday reboot of âLetâs pass the bill to see whatâs in it,â House Speaker Nancy Pelosiâs last big hit.
What a flop. It was worse than âAngry Birds 2.â
Yet, we still had to carry the farce, despite the clowns who joked about Barron Trump and played dishonestly edited clips of President Trump. While the press tortured viewers by pretending it mattered, one question remained: Why didnât Republicans just bolt?
After all, we all knew it was just a stupid skit designed to make Democrats feel good, since theyâre immune to feeling stupid. The rest of us are left with what cops call âthe mess.â
When thieves break into a house and find zilch, the only thing left to do is trash the place. Hence the amorphous abuse of power in one article of impeachment, which anyone can now use on the Democrats. And they should.
I mean, when you move forward with a three-year witch trial, knowing the only support will be partisan and therefore doomed to fail, while boasting that youâll keep doing it forever â isnât that abuse of power? Itâs certainly an abuse of Americaâs patience, institutions, trust and cohesion.
Which makes it another media-assisted hoax.
âCollusion,â Covington Catholic, Brett Kavanaugh. Now this.
If you want to find the lie, just look where the media points the cameras."
Adapted from Greg Gutfeldâs monologue on âThe Fiveâ on Dec. 10, 2019.