I’ve always, always had a problem with ECT. I think probably because I have a very good imagination and while no one could ever come close to imagining what ECT would truly mean, I came close enough to be hugely uncomfortable with the whole thing.
Lots of people do. That’s why we have doctrines that ECT is really just the absence of God – that He is all things good, and His absence would be the absence of all things good, leaving only the bad. This helped a little, but I had to ignore the little niggling voice that said, “But if He is omnipresent, and He is there if we make our bed in hell/sheol, and if all things will be summed up in Christ, how could there be a place where God is not?”
And how could any bad be allowed to remain? After a while, I wondered whether maybe our God, who is a consuming fire, is destruction to rebels by His very nature, and He really can’t help it. Maybe His very presence IS hell to those who hate Him. And it wasn’t very far from that to annihilation once I discovered that the Bible doesn’t actually teach the immortality of the human soul apart from the indwelling life of God.
I stopped in annihilation for about a year (it took the rest of my life to get to that point, and I’m 53!) and then one day I was just sitting down with a new book and I suddenly had this dumfounding thought: “What if the universalists are right?” It wasn’t a normal thought, if you know what I mean. I suddenly HAD to know. Right Now. So I did a search on Google to see if I could find some Christian universalists and see whether they had any answers for my (I thought) very difficult questions. I felt silly when I saw the answers. Actually, just ASKING the questions suggested several possible answers to me. My questions weren’t hard at all, turns out.
They suggested several books, which I immediately downloaded to my Kindle; I read them and more, got more answers – some to questions I hadn’t even thought about – and I’m still here. That’s been nearly a year ago, I guess. I’ll continue studying this until Abba says to move on, but as long as He has more for me to learn here, I’m happy to stick with this line of inquiry.
I’m delighted to learn that I no longer need to worry about God’s injustice. Why? Because contrary to popular theology, He really IS just. And because He is just He is merciful. And because He is just and merciful, He will not wink at inequity and the unforgiving servant will not go free until he has paid the uttermost farthing – but he WILL go free.
But as to what, specifically brought me to this point? I think that it was when I started asking Abba to show me more truths about Himself, and promised Him that I would receive from His hand ANY doctrine that He could show me from scripture was the truth, no matter how many cherished preconceptions had to fall. I didn’t think there was much more that I had wrong at that point. Boy was I wrong! Once I’ve learned this well enough to suit Him, I can’t wait to see what He might show me next!
Love, Cindy