The Kingdom Within


Rivers of Love

I’m stripping away all that is not me
So I can be who I was meant to be
And live a new life that is truly free
With eyes of my heart open I can see

Accepting the past and future I let go
With a deeper awareness I now know
The river of love can always flow
With the death of the mind and ego

In union with the love of my true self
I feel sweet beauty like I’ve never felt
A wonder, bliss and joy of mental health
Now that I have rivers of eternal wealth


Wow! What a beautiful thought, Paidon! :slight_smile: By the way, your thoughts on this forum have always been of considerable encouragement to me. Thank you so much for thinking so deeply and aesthetically about our God, who disciplines those whom He loves and is a “consuming fire” (Hebrews 12:6 and 29).


It is a good thought and after reading what Paidion believes on this subject I know he’s the real deal. It’s not about self-esteem or building yourself up but death to the old ego self and coming into union with the true self (love). The Beauty of holiness is in humility.


Thank you gandalf’sbeard. Your response is an encouragement to me (and yours also, St. Michael).


Your name is written in the Lambs book of Life Paidion. We have minor disagreements but this is the heart of it in my opinion.


If anyone is interested in this Andrew Murray has written a book called “Humility: The Beauty of Holiness”. It’s hailed as the greatest book on humility ever written. Andrew Murray was open to Universalism. Murray was greatly influenced by William Law. One of Law’s books clearly outlined Law’s belief in universal salvation. This very book was later republished by Murray under the title Power of the Spirit.


Here’s the table of contents:

  1. Humility: The Glory of the Creature

  2. Humility: The Secret of Redemption

  3. The Humility of Jesus

  4. Humility in the Teaching of Jesus

  5. Humility in Daily Life

  6. Humility and Holiness

  7. Humility and Faith

  8. Humility and Death to Self

  9. Humility and Happiness

  10. Humility and Exaltation

The book is only 80 pages. Real easy to grasp.


The book is online:


One quote from the book that was helpful to me:

Friend, the only thing that can cure you of the desire for man’s praise or the hurt feelings and anger which come when it is not given, is by only seeking the glory that comes from God. Let the glory of the all-glorious God be everything to you. You will be freed from the glory of men and of self, and be content and glad to be nothing. ~~ Andrew Murray


I was reading my book:

The Essential Mystics, Poets, Saints and Sages by Richard Hooper and it describes the enlightenment experience. Listen to this:


Well, that describes me to a T… I guess I’ll wait for a great enlightenment… I won’t hold my breath, however.


Hang in there Gabe buddy. It’s dark before the light.


This comes from page 61 of the book “The Essential Mystics, Poets, Saints and Sages by Richard Hooper”:


There is no such thing as a sustained vacuum.We are already empty… "without form and void"until the word “Let there be light” starts a new creation within through the Logos, and a relationship with Him. It is about fulness, given by grace, and receiving it with thankfulness, even in the midst of difficulty. It is not by looking in the mirror of what “I dont want to be”. It is by looking in the eyes of the one who “Is Who He Is” and receiving His fulness via His love.

For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. Col 2:10

For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. John 1:16

IMO the destruction of the ego only occurs through the impartation of the divine nature- by grace, through faith, in fellowship with the Father and the Son through the Spirit.

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, let us run with patience the race set before us.

I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.



Ego death happens or begins when you hit bottom. It’s a painful ego puncturing. Someone or something else usually has to do it. It’s a shattering of the ego and then a complete surrender and abandonment to God. A letting go. You first have to become aware of your ego. Check this out from Wikipedia:

We empty ourselves and become nothing. Jesus gave us the example:

As an empty vessel the wind of the Spirit blows through.


To go more in depth try the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book written by Bill Wilson. As he says in the book: Each one of the steps and traditions are designed to deflate ego.

or this by Eckhart Tolle


I have read both of those books( and Murray’s “Humility” is wonderful as are most of his books). “Hitting bottom” is often when the grace of God begins to manifest as the revelation of Jesus Christ, but imo the ego has not died that has not bowed the knee to Him.

“Hitting bottom” is also often a place where a person languishes for lack of someone to lift them into the waters, and desperately in need of the healing touch of Jesus.

Ego death requires more than just sinking into helplessness, granting that that is often a path through which people find Christ, and is always an element of salvation.(For through the Law I died to the Law, so that I might live to God).

‘I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.’ Gal 2


I agree. It’s an undoing of your personality. You gain humility. This is why I hold to free will and to G.K. Chesterton’s paradox of predestination. The determinism of Hyper- Calvinism with it’s unbreakable chain leads to mental illness. It’s ego to the extreme. It places you at the center of the universe with no break in the causal chain. I was diagnosed with this. Listen to Tolle describe this:

Listen to G.K. Chesterton in Orthodoxy:

This is why I say we are to become nobody special.



One more from Chesterton: