To participate in this thread properly (by answering the OP) I’ll add my 2 cents.
Short answer? Not sure. Long Answer?
Not sure, but I have my history - I have spent the great part of my adult life chasing what I believe to be an illusion. I have always been chasing that ‘conversion’ experience. Chasing the 'spirit", chasing anything spiritually related. I used to think the conversion experience would magically cause me to obey God’s will consistently and perfectly (or near perfectly). I was ever so searching for the power and desire to God’s will. When I would sin I would ask myself “I must be not be a genuine convert” and this cause so much inner turmoil. For years I carried the guilt of sins, not my past sins, but my current sins. I would pray, rededicate my life, I got baptized, I did everything I could to obey, but the more I obeyed, the harder things became… Perfection, or the pursuit of it actually made me worse off. It caused me to obsess about my faults, which caused me to fall more often. Many people call this the pink elephant syndrome. What we think will improve things actually makes things worse. Striving to be perfect just brings to mind how we are imperfect. Constantly viewing our imperfections is a great way to adopt a shame based identity. When you do ‘bad’ so often, you become ‘bad’ in your own mind. Once you have taken on this identity, it all but destroys you. Over the years I became destroyed more and more, and that caused me to continue my insanity (keep seeking for the spirit, or answer from God)… The insanity has Biblical support, which makes this even harder to withdraw from. For Jesus said “Seek and find”… But ironically, another scripture says “Ever seeking, ever learning and never coming to a knowledge of the truth” so, as I see it, it is basically a contradiction. Paul speaks of people like me, and then Jesus tells us to keep pressing on (like with the widow and unjust judge). I eventually came to realize this created a feedback loop. A very harmful one. I realized I would go to my grave still seeking. So I quit seeking and found relief.
I had an idea on day… I grabbed a piece of paper, drew circles on it. Each circle was a different size representing each religion and it’s size. Within Christianity there were four main small circles, RC, Prot, Ang, EO. Within Prot there was yet another circle that THOUSANDS of small dots. Each dot represented a different denomination. Then I drew some circles with the large Muslim circle for three of their sects and so on. I looked at the ‘bigger’ picture and saw something that I could no longer justify. My arrogance regarding my correct belief. Even worse was the idea that everyone else, billions and billions were lost and godless. Lucky me, who grew up in 'Merica! and had God’s blessing! Woot! Not only did I have all the material possessions I could need/want, but by golly, the next life has me secured too! Can life get any better? Yeah, so it must be obvious now I reject the idea that one sole tiny minuscule number of the populace is the only one who knows the ‘True’ God. If you haven’t done it, I highly recommend doing that exercise above. It really puts things into perspective. It might humble you, or conversely, it might cause you be arrogant, depending on how you view the idea. That is the strange thing… The same idea can cause two different responses. Who is to say which one is right? Well, me of course, because…