The Evangelical Universalist Forum

Bipolar Psychoses

Studies Poetry
#1

Pondering the big issues as my mind races
Thinking I’ve crossed over into new places
No longer mortal I gaze at my own reflection
A long, dark beard covers my complexion
Christ incarnates Himself through my being
How could this be? I can’t believe what I’m seeing!
A shiny diamond sits on the top of my head
Every path of color before me I fear to tread
For they all lead to an early and very slow death
Fear strikes my soul as I begin to grasp for breath
Paranoid and worried about what I just felt
I reach for the phone and cry out for help

By Cole

#2

Is this what you really experience in your mind, Cole, or is it just your imaginative poetry?

#3

It’s an experience I once had.

#4

can I ask if you are bi-polar ? after all I have my own unique condition ! :smiling_imp: :sunglasses: :smiley:

#5

I’m bipolar with psychotic features.

#6

confession time

I’m an aspie

#7

Hi Cole –

I think this is a very moving poem about a manic psychosis. It deals with an aspect of mania that is not often understood – namely that the elation of mania is not simply the opposite of depression; people don’t just feel great and invincible and omnipotent when manic – manic episodes are full of fear and panic adn guilt. It’s not unknown that someone in a state of manic psychosis (especially if they are a Christian) to feel that perhaps all of a sudden they have actually become Jesus. The general feeling of becoming powerful and enormously important in the pattern of things is pretty much universal in manic psychosis I understand.

You’ve expressed the elements of this desperately painful experience in a way that looks at all of its complexity – the racing mind, the epiphany (and I loved the image of the diamond prism for this), the feeling of disbelief attending the experience no matter how powerful it is, and the fear and paranoia. I hope someone was there on the end of the phone for you old chap…

Hi Stuart –

Och so you are an ‘aspie’. You’ve done well my friend -

Bless you both

Dick

#8

Cole, I agree with Sobernost. It’s a great expression of your experience. I’ve been praying for you – that must have been terrifying. I can only imagine. And . . . what’s an aspie?

#9

Hi Stuart –

Och so you are an ‘aspie’. You’ve done well my friend -

in what respect ?

#10

aspergers disorder is a sub-category of autism but it is unique in a number of ways, it really is a disorder in its own right - there are usually a number of similar traits in those who are effected by it. hope this answers your question

#11

Thanks, Stuart. I just didn’t know that aspie meant Aspurger’s. I’m not always as “quick” as one might hope. :laughing:

#12

sorry if I came across in a way that may have given you that type of impression Cindy :wink:

#13

come-on sobernost what do you mean ??? :confused:

#14

HI Stuart - sorry I’ve not been watching this thread. Well one of my godchildren has just been diagnosed with apergers. He’s very anxious that he’ll never have a job or get married (but I’m sure he’ll be OK). And you are married with kids (I think) and you’ve got a good job. So you’ve done very well - and that’s encouraging to me because I’m very fond of my godson and I’m sure a way will open for him (he’s been dignosed in his early twenties - it exaplnis a lot of problems that he’s had hitherto but he’s just getting used to it).

All the best

Dick :slight_smile:

#15

My son was diagnosed a few years back, we then read up on the topic and it explained a heck of alot regarding myself (it can often be hereditary) most people experience difficulties to varying degrees but most also manage to fit in somewhere in life also so don’t sweat it too much :wink:

#16

Thanks Stuart :slight_smile:

#17

its actually a beautiful thing ! (helps if you read up on aspergers to appreciate what I am getting at here) its a gift :sunglasses: