The fact I’ve gone up to the front and experienced someone trying to push me back but not letting them (like Pilgrim’s experience) and witnessed some of these manifestations (that only seem to result in a phyical reaction e.g laughing and falling back- not the type of healing Sherman experienced), shows I’m trying to catch this wind. I didn’t immediately diss it. I gave it a chance. I prayed that God would show me if this was His Spirit. The first experience I had of this very real power, was back in about 1995. The power came on me and I couldn’t get up off the floor. My head was stuck to the floor and try as I might I couldn’t lift it up. This made me very frightened and so I prayed very fervently and sincerley ‘Jesus, if this is you, then please let me know it’s you and I’ll quite happily lie here as long as you want me to.’ Still the fear: ‘Jesus you can see I’m scared with this. Is this you Lord? Please give me your peace, that this is you’. Still fear. I prayed this about three times and still the fear and so I thought 'sod this, I’m getting up now, and so I did and went back to my seat and concluded this was not of God. I didn’t quite give it up after that. During the years people manifested this phenomenon and I would look on suspiciously but always pray, ‘Lord forgive me, if this is you and I’m being negative’. I’ve had people pray that I’d be baptised in the Holy Spirit- many times. (I thought, maybe I’m not getting this because you need to have it, to get it.) And so, many have prayed but no baptism seems to happen. I think I’d know if it had.
Sturmy, you say
and I understand why you think this. I thought this too, which is why I tolerated it for as long as I did, but then if God can allow evil things that happen to ‘Christians’ then is this any different? When I was 15, I was wagging off school one day. (I told my mum I felt unwell). I remember at this time, I’d been wondering about the purpose of life and if there was a God and had prayed ‘God let me know if you’re there’. A few days later, lo and behold He answers my prayer. Two lovely Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked the door and had answers for all my questions. They had the ‘truth’. I nearly became a Witness and went out on the preaching work. I got diassociated (not disfellowshipped, as I wan’t baptised, but it’s the same thing) for leaving and having boyfriends. Why did God give me a ‘stone’ when I’d asked for bread? He allowed me to be deceived and their deceptions (which I believe they’re not aware they are deceiving) have had a lasting impact on my life. I still carry lots of guilt and can’t seem to feel assurance that I’m ‘saved’. I know they do have a lot of truth, but they also have a lot of bad stuff. God allowed it. I don’t know why. He is allowing nutters like Todd Bentley to deceive people. Sturmy, what did you think of the documentary?