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Hi Neil -
Saw this last night and no one has replied – so I’ll chance my arm. It’s a difficult question because it could mean many things.
A little bit of praise doesn’t do anyone any harm. If you do a job well and someone praises you for it, it increases your self-respect. I’m a teacher and I know that one way people learn is by positive reinforcement (for positive things). A proper sense of self worth/self esteem are not problematic in my view – people who are completely unable to take praise on board usually have huge problems learning and interacting with others.
Too much dejection, too much putting ourselves down seems to me an act of unintentional ingratitude – we, are after, all made in the image of God – albeit flawed and limited. And actual public displays of ‘virtuous self hated’ can be a mask for toxic spiritual pride.
Vainglory is a different matter. This is self esteem turned into a pride that vaunts itself over others. It is rivalrous – ‘I need praise so I can feel better than other people who are not praise-worthy’. It’ is especially dangerous in a situation where a person has real power over other people and is surrounded by sycophants who are not prepared to tell that person when they are committing errors or doing wrong. This is the sort of praise that people in authority especially have to be canny about.
If someone praise you and you feel it is going to your head? Well a humorous and ironic attitude to yourself helps. Yes I think we all need to have a paradoxical perspective about ourselves to live loving lives that are pleasing to God. The paradox has been stated thus –
Remember O man thou art the son of a King
But also
Remember O man thou art dust.
And I always remember the death bed affirmation of one of the early Quakers who said that if he had done anything good in the world , and anything useful –
‘To God be the glory – I’ll have none of it, I’ll have none of it’.
Last insight – the word humility originally meant ‘earthiness’ – so true humility is just a matter of keeping our feet on the ground!
Hope some of this is on the right lines – forgive me if I’ve missed the mark.
Blessings
Dick