It’s hard to learn how to apologise, forgive & reconcile, & equally hard to figure out how to teach others to! I came across this helpful method:
, Joellen"]**1) I’m sorry for…: **Be specific. Show the person you’re apologizing to that you really understand what they are upset about.
Wrong: I’m sorry for being mean.
Right: I’m sorry for saying that nobody wants to be your friend.
**2) This is wrong because…: ***This might take some more thinking, but this is one of the most important parts. Until you understand why it was wrong or how it hurt someone’s feelings, it’s unlikely you will change. This is also important to show the person you hurt that you really understand how they feel. I can’t tell you how much of a difference this makes! Sometimes, people want to feel understood more than they want an apology. Sometimes just showing understanding– even without an apology– is enough to make them feel better! *
Wrong: This is wrong because I got in trouble.
Right: This is wrong because it hurt your feelings and made you feel bad about yourself.
**3) In the future, I will…: **Use positive language, and tell me what you WILL do, not what you won’t do.
Wrong:* In the future, I will not say that.*
Right: *In the future, I will keep unkind words in my head.*It’s worth reading the full post as she explains the reasoning & gives examples.
