Or generally, someone else’s kid they are paid to bring across.
But more to the point on this great holiday. and if, god forbid, anyone is humor-challenged, I hereby proclaim that this IS humorous
"You can do it, Mr. President. Stop pardoning the turkeys. Fry them instead.
Forget the presidential pardon and bring on the presidential picnic. Cook up the birds and feed the people. Heck, get even more turkeys to not pardon. Get a whole flock of turkeys, don’t pardon them, and host more people than you could with just two. It’s what Thanksgiving is all about, coming together and sharing the bounty, not about photo ops and leaving a giant mess for the hotel cleaning staff.
As you mentioned during the speech that culminated in pardoning Bread and Butter, Democrats have accused you of being soft on turkeys. Well, even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and again. Your critics are correct; you are soft on turkeys.
In 2020, you have a chance to change that, to rule with an iron roasting pan. You have the opportunity to serve your constituents, literally, rather than continuing a senseless tradition in which two perfectly good meals get sent to a farm to spend their days pointlessly wandering around, not being food.
As you mentioned during the speech that culminated in pardoning Bread and Butter, Democrats have accused you of being soft on turkeys. Well, even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and again. Your critics are correct; you are soft on turkeys.
In 2020, you have a chance to change that, to rule with an iron roasting pan. You have the opportunity to serve your constituents, literally, rather than continuing a senseless tradition in which two perfectly good meals get sent to a farm to spend their days pointlessly wandering around, not being food."