Hello all,
(Warning: long post. You either care or you don’t. I won’t be offended if you don’t, I promise)
In 2013, I undertook a study on what the Bible teaches about damnation, and I eventually gave up my belief that Hell was a place of eternal suffering and obtained the new belief that Hell resulted in oblivion (Annihilationism aka conditional immortality). Some time passed, and my interests in the subject were piqued again and I wanted to look into Universalism (the third option).
I looked into the topic with the help of this site, but found that the exegetical details of the Universalist arguments were just way beyond anything I could understand. So I said that I would remain an Annihilationist but be a hopeful universalist (that is, Annihilationism was my default position in regards to the doctrine of eternal destiny, but universalism was a definite possibility).
Being reasonably satisfied with this conclusion, I logged this tremendously heavy issue away in that corner of my brain that stores my knowledge of how to play the saxophone, and the memory of my entire ninth grade year in high school. In other words, I thought I was done with this issue.
However, the thoughts kept coming back up. I kept staying up at night thinking about those individuals who would be annihilated, who would never know God. I prayed. I even had a few dreams about it.
And now I’m tired of lying to myself. In my heart of hearts I believe in universalism and the Scriptures seem to be ambiguous on the issue. There are biblical, theological, philosophical, historical, patristic and emotional arguments for universalism and by gosh I don’t have the time to wade through them. It’s basically what I believe and the other problem texts will either be cleared up or will continue to be ambiguous no matter how skilled I become at exegesis.
If it turns out universalism isn’t true, I don’t imagine God would actually be mad at me, neither would I have prevented anyone else from entering the Kingdom by holding to it, since one person holding erroneous doctrine does not destroy the Kingdom. And even if I do believe in universal reconciliation, I will not be very bullish in promoting it, because at least some of the passages are ambiguous and it is not an essential part of the Gospel message. Plus, preaching universalism to non-Christians may not be pastorally wise, even though it may be true. At the very worst, if universalism doesn’t turn out to be true, God would explain to me what the deal is, and I would accept it.
So for now, I will switch my view from Annihilationist and hopeful universalist to universalist but possible Annihilationist (that is, universalism is my default position, but Annihilation is a possibility, rather than the other way around).
What does this mean for my pastoral career? Probably not much. God willing, I will be admitted into one of the best Protestant seminaries in the country, and I doubt they will ask what my views on Hell are before they admit me. My answer could probably be, “That’s why I’m coming here, to learn what the Bible teaches about such things!” Strictly speaking, this wouldn’t be lying, because I am always open to learning new things, especially from world-class scholars. After I get my Master’s, God may lead me to get a doctorate, but I believe He would lead me to go to a secular university and of course, they wouldn’t care.
As for ordination in the Anglican Church, I could easily be an Annihilationist and hopeful universalist and my view is probably non-dogmatic enough to please most classically Anglican or Anglo-Catholic parishes. Plus, it is not as if hellfire and brimstone are topics discussed frequently by Anglo-Catholics anyway (on a side note, I have to admit, God is really opening my eyes to the beauty of Anglo-Catholicism! I used to be kind of prejudiced against it, but now I really see it’s attraction. That, and “Anglo-Orthodoxy”. I think Randy Kemp posted about that once).
So, I could drag this whole “study on Universalism” thing out, but I don’t want to. At a certain point, you have to just stop analyzing stuff and just be honest with yourself. That happened when I left Roman Catholicism and eventually ended up in Anglicanism. Sure, I prayed and read Scriptures and poured over material and researched all sides of the debate, but at a certain point you just have to stop over-analyzing and trust Him to lead you. This morning, as I prayed the Daily Office with the parish priest, then celebrated Mass with the Rite I Liturgy from the Book of Common Prayer, I received a confirmation from God that I was in the right place, a confirmation that goes beyond research or head knowledge. And so it is with universalism.
I know what my heart is saying, and the truth of this subject is way beyond my ability to understand or to even minimally affect. I trust God that He will lead me into the truth and I would rather let the liberating hope of universalism be one of the backdrops of my faith rather than something else. Now there will be no more staying up at night lamenting all the annihilated, no more crying over not being able to see grandfather ever again. I have a real hope now.
Thank you for all your help in getting me to think about this issue. Back into storage it will go. I need to stop thinking and starting doing! There is work to be done in the Kingdom!
God’s richest blessings,
Warren Conrad