The Evangelical Universalist Forum

Not Here For Me

Studies Poetry
#1

I thought you was my friend
What a lie, you just wanted control
Piss off, and never speak to me again
I don’t want to talk, just go

Everything was based on your fear
a distorted view of what is real
false beliefs, clouded, and unclear
Hurt & broken, how am I suppose to feel?

What am I suppose to say? I HATE you
You are not here for me in my pain
I can’t stand it, it hurts, what am I to do?
with this darkness and burning in my brain

Goodbye, don’t pay me any attention
I let you go and hope the worst for you
you’re fake and phony, not to mention
deluded about what is right and true

cole

#2

Cole I can sympathise with your poem. To be honest I’ve sometimes felt this way about my best and most longstanding friends (with good cause on occasion) and they have sometimes felt this way about me (with good cause on occasion). Whatever it is - we have to forgive each other a thousand times, just to be able to live together. I hope you’ll feel different soon old chum.

Dick :slight_smile:

#3

I sympathize as well, Cole, and hope you still consider me a friend. :confused:

Whether it seems like it or not, you’ve got a lot of friends here who care about you.

Take some time away, if that’s what you need, but we hope to see you again soon! :slight_smile:

Steve

#4

Hey Cole, my man!

Some people aren’t always there for us in our pain. But sometimes that’s not because they don’t care, it’s just they’re too worn down by their own pain.

Always here for you mate. Stay strong. And try and lay off the Seagrams :smiley: .

Johnny

#5

Wow, these are some good comments. Thanks guys. I’m still hurting. I relapsed again last night. Johnny, how did you know I drink Seagram’s? :laughing:

#6

Hi Cole

Don’t feel too bad about having a relapse. But don’t throw in the towel and give in completely. You can get through this mate, you really can. Like Steve says, you’ve got lots of friends here. We all have our bad times, but we have good times too.

As for the Seagrams, I would say I have magical powers, but that wouldn’t be true. The more prosaic truth is that you mentioned it in a post a while ago. Said you were drinking Seagrams 7. I’m more of a Wild Turkey man myself :smiley: . Although these days I don’t drink whisky, it makes me mean. Stick to beer and you’ll feel better for it mate.

Take care

Johnny

#7

Better yet you stick to iced tea or soda, Cole – and probably that goes for anyone who struggles with a drinking problem. I too have known healed alcoholics who can drink if they want to and not get into trouble BUT they were dry for many years before they got to the point of being able to drink responsibly without struggling and relapsing.

Seriously. Keep total healing in your sights, but don’t be deceived. Some of us have actual physical addictions and our bodies need A LOT of time to reestablish normal hormonal patterns. That is A LOT of time – not a couple of months or even probably a couple of years. You will feel bad sometimes and the only (very temporary) relief may be a drink, but that’s like hitting yourself over the head to make your ears stop aching. Some of us are not ready for that much freedom. It doesn’t mean we never will be, but right now it’s just plain deadly, my friend. It’s fun for an evening and miserable for the rest of the week. :frowning:

#8

Thanks Johnny. I’ll keep on keeping on buddy.

Cindy,

I think you are right. I’ll stick with ice tea. I don’t know about hormone patterns. But seeing that you use to be a nurse, I’ll take your advice. Good to hear you call me your friend by the way. It’s a real pleasure being your friend. :smiley: