I don’t really work with children, I’d rather say that I observe parents a lot instead. Particularly, what they say, how they speak of their children, how they behave around them when they go visit someone, relative to what the children themselves are. Obviously this is rather anecdotal. As far as studying psychology and such is, I generally do case study, i.e., looking at one person at a time and seeing how things developed, instead of collecting data.
The things that I would point out the most are these: lying, mutual distrust, unearned approval, unjustified punishment, bad example, hypocrisy.
Most parents lie to their children. It’s often small lies, but small lies can get big. The more you lie, the less the kid believes you. And this is ranging from some psychologically harmful stories and ideas such as “the demons will eat you if you do X”, “if you eat a watermelon seed you’ll have a watermelon grow in you”, etc., to lies about simply how something works, why something happens, why should the child do something. If you use God somehow in the middle of this and make a lie using God’s name (Christians do it, heck, even non-Christians do it), then I would say that is actually the direct breaking of one of the main commandments, i.e., blasphemy. Far worse than a swear word.
This goes into distrust. Distrust is actually the core issue because it’s like man’s gap with God: it’s huge and very difficult to fix, and everything falls apart. If you treat your kid like an idiot, and he later discovers (thanks to the internet, no less) that watermelons do not grow in your stomach, or that birds do not bring kids, he may not respond very well to that implication. Especially if it’s pervasive, as it is in some families I’ve seen. Distrust, of course, can come from other things. And it’s usually two-way. The parent does not trust the kid with anything. The kid does not trust back. I have not seen a family where this did not occur, aside from movies and fiction. I’m sure they exist but I haven’t seen one.
Unearned approval. This is the spoilage issue, when you approve (i.e., send false signals) of things you should not approve. For one, if your kid goes beat up another kid, and you approve it, you send him a message that that is good and OK. I’ve seen this, over and over. The most spoiled kids are these - anything they do, the parent approves. This approval also goes on the parents. If a parent does something, for the kid that implies they approve of it.
Unjustified punishment is the other side. We discussed this earlier. Your kid does something you do not like, you punish without explanation or warning. This usually breeds distrust as well, and often kids learn from this how to lie, how to avoid punishment, and they do not actually learn anything from your warnings.
Bad example/hypocrisy is the classic one. Can’t do much if your parent is just not giving a good example at all, or, even worse, expects from you what they do not do or have not done. This can often generate some extensive problems, say, for instance, the parent dropped out of high school but beats you up for not having all A’s in the most difficult classes and calls you lazy. They may even have a point, but for one, they lack experience with that situation themselves; for another, the child has little reason to believe they can accomplish it when their parent did not. Sometimes this is, in fact, an expression of the parent’s neurosis and trying to relive their life through their kid.
This is why it’s important to have an example that both experienced what we have experienced, but one who did not fail. I.e., Jesus. Hmm, did I just equate Jesus to a parent?
There’s a lot of stuff here. All I will say is that the more I study humanity, the more I’m convinced we’re all sick, in ways we do not even begin to realize. The issue of sin is fundamental and not some arbitrary term God made up. It’s in front of us.
I dabble a lot in the fields of psychology and I’ve been looking into how various disorders typically show up and seem to associate. For one, I spent a while looking into the narcissistic, and it’s one of those things that is very easily transmitted by parenting. I.e., narcissistic parents typically produce narcissistic children. I guess it’s really the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” phenomenon. Same goes with parents who have a bullying attitude towards their children, etc. Things like NPD and such are also nearly undiagnosable, and most parents I’ve seen have some traits pertaining to it.
I wouldn’t be particularly surprised if 90% of ancestral sin was, in fact, simply being exposed to life on Earth in one way or another.