So I came across this passage just now:
5 If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given to you. 6 But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; 7,8 for the doubter, being double minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord. [James 1:5-8|NRSV]
Tbh, this is like a nail in the coffin for a possibility of me being Christian. I’m most definitely a doubter. I’m a doubter by nature, and I don’t know if I want to be otherwise because I feel if a person has no doubt then they have grown arrogant and stagnant in their ways. This passage seems to basically be telling me to go to hell and seems to have a very negative opinion of people who doubt.
So, I guess God doesn’t want me? I shouldn’t pray to him?
How does this work with Matthew 17:20?
20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” [Matthew 17:20|ESV]
Maybe I’m misunderstanding the whole mustard seed analogy here.
Or this:
22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. [1 Corinthians 12:22-24|ESV]
I guess I’ve been praying for nothing this whole time and imagining things.
I don’t know what to do now.