It’s been a long time since i’ve sat down and read the Word. when i was younger, i read it several times (skipping the genealogies and some of the historical bits). however over time i developed a strange feeling that with all the questions i had, the things i was into (most are condemned by fundamentalists, though i approached them thoughtfully, prayerfully and rationally and found no real sin) etc, i found myself almost fearing to read it as it was. it was like it was becoming toxified for me. also, given the number of times i’d read it…i wasn’t even sure where to begin again!
i think my theological tradition, despite the happy-clappy bits, where actually quite condemning…and that shaded my view of the word, and still does (the thought “what if they’re right about hell and ‘holiness’ etc etc?” still plagues me at times!)
i expected, irrationally with my experience, God to speak out of His word and condemn me for all the nonfundamentalist stuff i was doing.
i was hoping, with my discovery of UR, that my feelings would change…that i’d once again launch into it and do the “Christian” thing of having time in the word regularly and praying like i ought.
this didn’t happen…the fear still lurked (confirmed, annoyingly, a few times when i did try to read it and it seemed so stern and angry, and some hopeful passages i had thought i knew the location of weren’t where i thought they were!)
i progressed on, however, in my path…reading this forum, reading books that Sobornost lent me (thanks!!! hope they’re not too dog-eared for you when i get them back to you!) by such authors as Rene Girard (excellent!), Dave Tomlinson (excellent too, and now i’m attending his church!) and most recently Matthew Fox (who i have just started to get into…apparently his later work is a bit new agey, but this is an old book: Original Blessing). all of these authors, many of your comments on this forum, and many chats i’ve had with other post-evangelical types who see the questions as vital things to explore, not ignore, etc etc.
so i am feeling again a bit like i want to read the word. i am hoping now to approach it from an exploratory non-inerrantist/UR/Girardian/Creation Theology mindset, and see if i can get past this toxicity that has poisoned my relationship with it. i still hold it in high regard…believing it to be a vital revelation of God’s relationship to man from man’s perspective (mostly).
so practically speaking…i think i should ditch my NIV and KJV ones (not literally throw them out!), and try something a bit better, a bit less slanted. there’s YLT, obviously…but something a bit more readable might help. there’s the tentmaker list of non-toxic Bibles, which i may take a look at again…but i’d like to know your personal preferences.
also, is there a method of reading anyone has found helpful? a starting point? i am woefully undisciplined, so i doubt i’d stick well to any kind of long term plan…but maybe something short term and interesting that you’ve personally found inspiring.
) and is dramatized. The sound effects and different voices can really fuel the imagination as you’re going over a passage. Sometimes, even when the actors give an awkward reading, you catch the dis-jointed sound of it, and it causes you to reflect on the passage even more.