I always told myself I would never be a “salad bar” Christian, picking whatever doctrines tickle my fancy. As most of you know, however, I was born and raised Catholic, and I still heavily identify with the Catholic faith. I realize that I tend to accept Catholicism’s lovely traditions, rosaries, and patron saints like they are the yummy cheese selection of Christianity’s salad bar, while I pass up ideas like mortal sin and eternal torment as if they are the nasty anchovies. As a result, my Catholic salad tastes quite nice, but it hardly includes everything. 
And I feel guilty over that.
On one end, I feel drawn to Catholicism, because on its surface it seems more tolerant to universal restoration than mainline Protestantism. Consider the following hints at a hopeful universalism within the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
Not to mention Pope John Paul II’s very own words that,
That seems much more hopeful than the typical Protestant orientation that most of humanity will be in hell. For this reason, plus the heavier inclination toward universal mercy I’ve personally seen among modern-day Catholic clergy, I feel compelled to remain Catholic.
Of course, here’s the kicker-- the part of the salad bar I more-than-willingly pass over:
The Catholic Church still “officially” teaches things very different from what they practice, and even from the aforementioned hope from the former Pope himself. Foremost in my mind is the concept of mortal sin. Consider what the Church Canon also teaches about missing Mass on Sunday or on a Holy Day of Obligation:
Now, for a sin to be “mortal,” it must fit three criteria:
**Grave matter. ** And missing Mass is specified as “grave matter.”
Full knowledge. You need to know fully that what you are doing is a sin and you need to know that it is grave. That is, I know the Church teaches that missing Mass is grave.
Full consent. You need to do it deliberately with complete consent. Some Sundays, I just don’t attend Mass. Most Catholics have missed Mass at one time or another for no reason other than to sleep in or attend a baseball game. If they never confess, apparently it’s the everlasting BBQ for them. 
I am baffled by the idea of a God who takes attendance. Even more so, I am baffled at how a faith could teach that salvation of all mankind is a real hope, while including in the “fine print” that likely 99% of its professing faithful will burn eternally because they’ve committed something “mortal?”
It just makes no sense to me, and as a result, I have serious issues feeling like a Catholic in good standing, or even any sort of Catholic at all.
And let’s not even get into the fact that I’m a dogmatic universalist. 
That’s probably flat-out heresy right there, and yet I keep on receiving the Eucharist on Sundays (and by the way, receiving Communion in a state of mortal sin is-- you guessed it!-- another mortal sin.)
On one end, I feel very disgruntled and frustrated at this illogical nature behind Catholic teaching. On the other hand, it still rather frightens me quite a bit! I’d feel like a full-fledged heretic were I to leave (as if a secret heretic is somehow better. 
)
Anyway, where’s the Pharisee’s lunch table? Because after picking and choosing this salad, I feel like I’d best sit among like hypocritical company.
That’s of course if sinners and tax collectors are welcomed 
Well, AL, I was sitting with the Pharisees because I feel so hypocritical, but maybe we could just start our own sinners’ and tax collector’s table. 
