Actually the real - the most exact - parallel to Chaucer’s Pardoner today is some of the more hucksterish American TV evangelists. We can’t see American religious channels where appeals are made for non charitable monies on our terrestrial TV in the UK (although there is nothing to stop us from getting those channels by satellite). I remember an English commentator complaining against these measures of ‘religious censorship’ on the grounds that our terrestrial channels are very boring and often over ‘worthy’ ; and wouldn’t it be great to be able to see some of the most accomplished and entertaining religious mountebanks since the days of Chaucer’s Pardoner plying their trade in the comfort of our own homes (typical Brit irony at work there ). But if our nanny sate does relent and we are allowed tosee these guys at no additional cost - we’ll keep the words of our Host Harry Bailey to the jolly Pardoner of Rounceval to hand to keep our spirits up (I wish I had your cojones in my hand instead of your saint’s relics. Let’s cut them off and I’ll help you carry them and we’ll make a shrine for them in some hog’s dung = polite translation of verse cited above)
And here’s’ more about the Pardoner (in translation)
His wallet lay before him in his lap,
Stuffed full of pardons brought from Rome all hot.
A voice he had that bleated like a goat.
No beard had he, nor ever should he have,
For smooth his face as he’d just had a shave;
I think he was a gelding or a mare.
But in his craft, from Berwick unto Ware,
Was no such pardoner in any place.
For in his bag he had a pillowcase
The which, he said, was Our True Lady’s veil:
He said he had a piece of the very sail
That good Saint Peter had, what time he went
Upon the sea, till Jesus changed his bent.
He had a latten cross set full of stones,
And in a bottle had he some pig’s bones.
But with these relics, when he came upon
Some simple parson, then this paragon
In that one day more money stood to gain
Than the poor dupe in two months could attain.
And thus, with flattery and suchlike japes,
He made the parson and the rest his apes.
But yet, to tell the whole truth at the last,
He was, in church, a fine ecclesiast.
Well could he read a lesson or a story,
But best of all he sang an offertory;
For well he knew that when that song was sung,
Then might he preach, and all with polished tongue.
To win some silver, as he right well could;
Therefore he sang so merrily and so loud.