The Evangelical Universalist Forum

GMac's Book of Strife

Studies Poetry
#1

This Book of Strife (in the form of a diary of an old soul) means more to me, perhaps, than any other book I own. It is a rich, rich feast of wisdom, sorrow, melancholy, hope, love, and vision and joy; a book that never fails to bring me back to myself as I am, not as I fool myself into thinking I am; and it is there that GMac labors and cajoles and cures and encourages- a very , very great gift.

I aim to bring a few verses a day from my reading to the Forum - mostly what I call GMac’s 'theodicy" - things scattered throughout the work that don’t so much try to ‘Justify’ God’s ways to man, as to generously give us, in verse, what he has learned through a life of strife, that will fit us to better see what ARE the ways of God with His children, in our own strivings.

It IS a book of ‘strife’ - nothing happy-clappy about it - but it feels as if he has been through everything, has taken his share of wounds, has gleaned what good came from each experience, and has worked out his salvation. As an ‘old soul’ he begins the book - 365 days of short verses - with this Jan. 1 entry:
"LORD, what I once had done with youthful might,
Had I been from the first true to the truth,
Grant me, now old, to do–with better sight,
And humbler heart, if not the brain of youth;
So wilt thou, in thy gentleness and ruth, (compassion, pity)
Lead back thy old soul, by the path of pain,
Round to his best–young eyes and heart and brain.

He’s not afraid of seeing that pain will be involved.

And one other tidbit, from Jan. 9: (I will sometimes underline things)
"If to myself–“God sometimes interferes”–I said,
My faith at once would be struck blind.
I see him all in all, the lifing mind,
Or nowhere in the vacant miles and years.
A love he is that watches and that hears,
Or but a mist fumed up from minds of men,
Whose fear and hope reach out beyond their ken. (horizon)

I hope we all profit from this ‘taste’ of the book! Comments are invited!!

#2

I love this, Dave! :smiley:

I thought you were pulling my leg when you said you were starting a thread on GMac and theodicy… :laughing:
The Diary of an Old Soul is one of the few works of GMac I haven’t read.
I especially like these lines:

This is something he repeats elsewhere, but to GMac, God is indeed Love and better than we can imagine or doesn’t exist at all. GMac never tries to “prove” the existence of God, but sees evidence and hints of his existence everywhere.

#3

Here is a snippet from February. GMac had been talking about Death and the fear of Death, and then of depression - he’s very real and open about the things he experiences. I’ll go back and gather some of those things up, perhaps later on. This selection is not the theodicy that I talked about but I did not want to let it go unread.

I cannot see, my God, a reason why
From morn to night I go not gladsome free;
For, if thou art what my soul thinketh thee,
There is no burden but should lightly lie,
No duty but a joy at heart must be:
Love’s perfect will can be nor sore nor small,
For God is light–in him no darkness is at all.

'Tis something thus to think, and half to trust–
But, ah! my very heart, God-born, should lie
Spread to the light, clean, clear of mire and rust,
And like a sponge drink the divine sunbeams.
What resolution then, strong, swift, and high!
What pure devotion, or to live or die!
And in my sleep, what true, what perfect dreams!

There is a misty twilight of the soul,
A sickly eclipse, low brooding o’er a man,
When the poor brain is as an empty bowl,
And the thought-spirit, weariful and wan,
Turning from that which yet it loves the best,
Sinks moveless, with life-poverty opprest:–
Watch then, O Lord, thy feebly glimmering coal.

I cannot think; in me is but a void;
I have felt much, and want to feel no more;
My soul is hungry for some poorer fare–
Some earthly nectar, gold not unalloyed:–
The little child that’s happy to the core,
Will leave his mother’s lap, run down the stair,
Play with the servants–is his mother annoyed?

I would not have it so. Weary and worn,
Why not to thee run straight, and be at rest?
Motherward, with toy new, or garment torn,
The child that late forsook her changeless breast,
Runs to home’s heart, the heaven that’s heavenliest:
In joy or sorrow, feebleness or might,
Peace or commotion, be thou, Father, my delight.

The thing I would say, still comes forth with doubt
And difference:–is it that thou shap’st my ends?
Or is it only the necessity
Of stubborn words, that shift sluggish about,
Warping my thought as it the sentence bends?–
Have thou a part in it, O Lord, and I
Shall say a truth, if not the thing I try.

Gather my broken fragments to a whole,
As these four quarters make a shining day.
Into thy basket, for my golden bowl,
Take up the things that I have cast away
In vice or indolence or unwise play.
Let mine be a merry, all-receiving heart,
But make it a whole, with light in every part.

#4

This is really excellent, Dave. I agree that he is ‘very real and open’ about what he experiences. This selection especially seems worth quoting whether someone is experiencing transient sadness or deep depression:

I’m not sad or depressed …currently…, but I think the description of the depressed soul as a “feebly glimmering coal” is quite poetic and evocative.

#5

Yeah, the experience of depression runs through the entire book, along with themes of flagging faith, losing the battle to temptation, hopelessness - all very human stuff and part of the walk with God - along with the joy and peace and fellowship.

I hate to pass over any of the book, but I do want to pick out various themes and maybe in the future go back and find other themes.

#6

Back ‘on theme’ - GMac’s rather startling description of God’s way with His children, especially in terms of strife. He is obviously a believer in the Father’s providential ruling of all things; but the extent of that ‘All’ is sublime. This will develop as we go along.

This, this alone thy father careth for–
That men should live hearted throughout with thee–
Because the simple, only life thou art,
Of the very truth of living, the pure heart.
For this, deep waters whelm the fruitful lea,
Wars ravage, famine wastes, plague withers, nor
Shall cease till men have chosen the better part.

Henceforth all things thy dealings are with me
For out of thee is nothing, or can be,
And all things are to draw us home to thee.
What matter that the knowers scoffing say,
“This is old folly, plain to the new day”?–
If thou be such as thou, and they as they,
Unto thy Let there be, they still must answer Nay.

Faster no step moves God because the fool
Shouts to the universe God there is none;
The blindest man will not preach out the sun,
Though on his darkness he should found a school.
It may be, when he finds he is not dead,
Though world and body, sight and sound are fled,
Some eyes may open in his foolish head.

These next few will stretch us a bit: these are hard words-

How many helps thou giv’st to those would learn!
To some sore pain, to others a sinking heart;
To some a weariness worse than any smart;
To some a haunting, fearing, blind concern;
Madness to some; to some the shaking dart
Of hideous death still following as they turn;
To some a hunger that will not depart.

To some thou giv’st a deep unrest–a scorn
Of all they are or see upon the earth;
A gaze, at dusky night and clearing morn,
As on a land of emptiness and dearth;
To some a bitter sorrow; to some the sting
Of love misprized–of sick abandoning;
To some a frozen heart, oh, worse than anything!

To some a mocking demon, that doth set
The poor foiled will to scoff at the ideal,
But loathsome makes to them their life of jar.
The messengers of Satan think to mar,
But make–driving the soul from false to feal–
To thee, the reconciler, the one real,
In whom alone the would be and the is are met.

#7

Back ‘on theme’ - GMac’s rather startling description of God’s way with His children, especially in terms of strife. He is obviously a believer in the Father’s providential ruling of all things; but the extent of that ‘All’ , especially in the verses at the end of this post, might trouble us a bit. This will develop as we go along.

This, this alone thy father careth for–
That men should live hearted throughout with thee–
Because the simple, only life thou art,
Of the very truth of living, the pure heart.
For this, deep waters whelm the fruitful lea,
Wars ravage, famine wastes, plague withers, nor
Shall cease till men have chosen the better part.

Henceforth all things thy dealings are with me
For out of thee is nothing, or can be,
And all things are to draw us home to thee.
What matter that the knowers scoffing say,
“This is old folly, plain to the new day”?–
If thou be such as thou, and they as they,
Unto thy Let there be, they still must answer Nay.

Faster no step moves God because the fool
Shouts to the universe God there is none;
The blindest man will not preach out the sun,
Though on his darkness he should found a school.
It may be, when he finds he is not dead,
Though world and body, sight and sound are fled,
Some eyes may open in his foolish head.

These next few will stretch us a bit: these are hard words-

How many helps thou giv’st to those would learn!
To some sore pain, to others a sinking heart;
To some a weariness worse than any smart;
To some a haunting, fearing, blind concern;
Madness to some; to some the shaking dart
Of hideous death still following as they turn;
To some a hunger that will not depart.

To some thou giv’st a deep unrest–a scorn
Of all they are or see upon the earth;
A gaze, at dusky night and clearing morn,
As on a land of emptiness and dearth;
To some a bitter sorrow; to some the sting
Of love misprized–of sick abandoning;
To some a frozen heart, oh, worse than anything!

To some a mocking demon, that doth set
The poor foiled will to scoff at the ideal,
But loathsome makes to them their life of jar.
The messengers of Satan think to mar,
But make–driving the soul from false to feal–
To thee, the reconciler, the one real,
In whom alone the would be and the is are met.

#8

Any comments on those last 3 verses? GMac seems to present us with a ‘severe mercy’ here - he actually is calling many of the things we consider curses to be the Father’s way of driving us to Him.

Do you think that’s fair? Is it scriptural? Is it realistic?

[tag]alecforbes[/tag] - should this thread be moved to Christian Living instead of Poetry?

#9

Hi Dave! :smiley:
I think this thread is just fine in “Poetry”. No need to move it that I can see.

This view of his is found throughout his work, I think. I’ve wrestled with his ‘severe mercy’ quite a bit and I’m not sure he takes it as far as it might seem. In one of his novels Sir Gibbie there is a horrible murder that a child witnesses—but there is no mention of this being the work of God in some fashion. Alternatively, there are instances where characters succumb to disease (usually implied to be ‘consumption’ or tuberculosis which plagued his family) and the illness and eventually death are seen as the work of providence. I think his views would fit quite well into the ‘soul-making’ theodicy for the most part.

These lines:

I think allude to this passage in 1st Corinthians. “…hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.” So yes, there is scriptural precedent for his views. Can all evil we experience be attributed to God? Well, he certainly is a sovereign God and even if he doesn’t wish it he-- allows it. I think this ‘severe mercy’ has real worth in looking at the evils that befall us personally—to grow from them and trust God in them, but would certainly hesitate to use this to explain evils that others experience. I know that doesn’t make logical sense, but perhaps you can understand what I’m saying.

What do you think about this ‘severe mercy’, Dave?

#10

iIsee it much like you do, Steve . “Soul-making” is exactly the term I would use.

Henceforth all things thy dealings are with me
For out of thee is nothing, or can be,
And all things are to draw us home to thee.

That is a pretty radical thing to say; it is a view of Providence that challenges me to the core. GMac beyond doubt believes in an immanent heavenly Father, radically involved with each and every human life; and clearly sees the goodness and the severity of God.
All to draw us home to Him. Wow.
Strong medicine.
I’ll have a lot more to say about this as we progress. I hope you - and some more of our forumite friends - will continue to comment as well.

#11

So well put, Dave… It is very radical (and difficult and ‘strong medicine’), indeed. As one who feels GMac sees God much more clearly than I do, I am hard put to challenge his views though they are difficult. I would love to hear some other thoughts on this as well. I think it would be a mistake to dismiss GMac’s theodicy too quickly…

#12

These verses illuminate some key areas of GMac’s thinking. Is sin a ‘thing’ or the ‘lack of a thing’ - namely, a lack of goodness? Does evil encroach upon a good world, or is evil the result of erosion of the good? What happens when a good thing or a good person is torn from ‘God’s heart’ and is made a ‘free’ thing? Even love - when it is not rooted in God - what does it become?
Is temptation so tempting because the object is foul and nasty - or because it resembles in some way the beauty of the Good, except corrupted?

IS THERE EVIL IN THE WORLD, A SEPARATE ‘THING’ - OR IS EVIL A DEGRADING OR EROSION OF THE GOOD?

Lo, Lord, thou know’st, I would not anything
That in the heart of God holds not its root;
Nor falsely deem there is any life at all
That doth in him nor sleep nor shine nor sing;
I know the plants that bear the noisome fruit
Of burning and of ashes and of gall–
From God’s heart torn, rootless to man’s they cling.

(noi·some : harmful, nasty, injurious, noxious, deleterious, detrimental, bad, stinking, mischievous, pernicious, malign, fetid)

Life-giving love rots to devouring fire;
Justice corrupts to despicable revenge;
Motherhood chokes in the dam’s jealous mire;
Hunger for growth turns fluctuating change;
Love’s anger grand grows spiteful human wrath,
Hunting men out of conscience’ holy path;
And human kindness takes the tattler’s range.

(tattler: tattletale, babbler, gossip)

Nothing can draw the heart of man but good;
Low good it is that draws him from the higher–
So evil–poison uncreate from food.
Never a foul thing, with temptation dire,
Tempts hellward force created to aspire,
But walks in wronged strength of imprisoned Truth,
Whose mantle also oft the Shame indu’th.

#13

Never a foul thing, with temptation dire,
Tempts hellward force created to aspire,
But walks in wronged strength of imprisoned Truth,
Whose mantle also oft the Shame indu’th.

(Indu’th = endows)

One of the deepest descriptions of temptation I’ve read!!

#14

I really think GMac is spot on about sin. If I understand him correctly, (and he emphasizes what he writes here in other works) anything that comes from our ‘self’ independent of God becomes sinful, corrupted, ‘evil’ and twisted. Our hearts don’t desire evil– just a ‘lower good’ when we are not “plugged into” the Father. Evil is not created by us ex nihilo but in man “free” from God desiring what he feels is good and twisting and corrupting any ‘goodness’ in the desire.

#15

I think that’s right. We are tempted most by things that are a degraded form of the best things.

#16

The Father knows our ‘darkness’. What does that mean?
One thing I do know it means - God is not the ‘unmoved mover’ of Aristotle - not aloof - but knows every thought - everything is naked and open to Him - we think of our thoughts as our own, but in fact each one is known by God, and because this is so, He knows what helps we need.
One of those things is Light - the real Light, that scares away the bad things in our thinking, the leeches of nastiness and evil that are sucking our life from us.

When I am very weary with hard thought,
And yet the question burns and is not quenched,
My heart grows cool when to remembrance wrought
That thou who know’st the light-born answer sought
Know’st too the dark where the doubt lies entrenched–
Know’st with what seemings I am sore perplexed,
And that with thee I wait, nor needs my soul be vexed.

Not thine, my Lord, the darkness all is mine–
Save that, as mine, my darkness too is thine:
All things are thine to save or to destroy–
Destroy my darkness, rise my perfect joy;
Love primal, the live coal of every night,
Flame out, scare the ill things with radiant fright,
And fill my tent with laughing morn’s delight.

Master, thou workest with such common things–
Low souls, weak hearts, I mean–and hast to use,
Therefore, such common means and rescuings,
That hard we find it, as we sit and muse,
To think thou workest in us verily:
Bad sea-boats we, and manned with wretched crews–
That doubt the captain, watch the storm-spray flee.

Thou art hampered in thy natural working then
When beings designed on freedom’s holy plan
Will not be free: with thy poor, foolish men,
Thou therefore hast to work just like a man.
But when, tangling thyself in their sore need,
Thou hast to freedom fashioned them indeed,
Then wilt thou grandly move, and Godlike speed.

#17

Not much interest shown in this thread, so I think I will retire it for the time being.

#18

I hope you do bring it back, Dave. I’ve enjoyed it. :smiley: I’ve held off responding to your latest excerpt to give someone else a chance…

#19

Sometimes things catch on, sometimes not so much.
The theme though is a worthy one that I will continue on my own.

#20

Yes, and I’m now inspired to read The Diary of an Old Soul myself…