The Evangelical Universalist Forum

Overcoming self righteousness

Practices Christian Living
#1

I have this difficulty with self righteousness over my strong dislike for any kinds of fear based domination system that attempts to take control over others lives, and uses draconian methods to get obedience. I know quite well that it sounds pretty much like Eternal Damnation belief systems. But I still have a hard time with anything that resembles or supports domination systems, including bullying, harsh punishment for retribution or behavior modification, fear, security over freedom, survivalism, social control, trust of people in authority, defeatism, propaganda, being a busybody, criticism of others personal business, over-protectiveness or a status quo bias. I have fallen into the trap of looking at such people as being stupid, sadistic, psychopathic, using others, prideful, control freaks, narcissists, or self righteous.

On one hand, I know that violence, force and such are wrong. And I feel that its hard, because I have seen the ugliness of Domination systems, including experience in Fundamentalist Catholicism, and an experience in the Corporate world. It seems like the biggest temptation for self righteousness now is when someone pressures me into something that is not in my best interest. Where I often get angry with the person, and can easily hate what they asked of me.

#2

I quest my question is this. Are you stating facts or soliciting advice on how to deal with the facts you state? You can deal with how you respond to these issues via tools like psychotherapy, meditation (i.e. Yoga, Zen, Keatings centering prayer, Buddhist insight meditation, etc.), Bach flower remedies, traditional medical prescriptions and over the counter remedies, talking to clergy,training in real martial arts (Japanese jujutsu and Aikido), etc.

#3

It is a problem sometimes, and not only with ECT, but concerning other associated doctrines (nature of the atonement?) as well. I guess what you have to say to yourself is that these folks will see the light when they are ready and when God is ready to show it to them. He’s shown it to you, and you are blessed. Your (and my) job is to share that light, not to curse the darkness. I discuss this when I have the opportunity and in cases where I don’t think I’ll do people more harm than good. Some people aren’t receptive at all, but in this internet age, you never know who else is reading, so I carry on discussing as long as they keep challenging me, even when I’m sick of it and I know the person on the other end is far from ready. I keep my cool when they are denouncing and sometimes SCREAMING AT ME IN ALL CAPS. :unamused: Honestly I probably wouldn’t sit here and read a discussion like that, but people do. Maybe it’ll help someone else.

Bottom line, I think you need to look at it as a blessing from God, not of yourself, lest you should feel boastful. It’s cool yes, to get in at the beginning of a new (to us) revelation from God, and we thank Him for it. Since we can’t take any credit for our awakening, we can’t justly give any blame to others who haven’t got it yet. That’s my take. Hope it helps you to deal with this difficult situation. :slight_smile:

#4

Even the other hard part is still to have another side of the boastful attitude that I recieved the gift and the others did not. Thats the general attitude I see from the Calvinists.

#5

You received the gift for some reason of circumstance that probably has nothing to do with what a great person you are. So did I. Like Jacob and Esau; God loved Jacob and hated Esau. He didn’t hate Esau in the way people hate one another for cause (or for no cause). He “hated” Esau in that Esau was, for whatever reason, not His choice to carry on the bloodline of Abraham. That doesn’t mean there was anything wrong with Esau at all, but more likely that God, in His foreknowledge, saw that Esau was simply the wrong choice. Maybe his descendents would reject Him even more than Israel did. Maybe they wouldn’t end up producing a couple like Mary and Joseph who would be the earthly parents to Jesus that He had need of. We don’t know that, but God for some reason having nothing to do with the relative moral fiber or other merit of Jacob and Esau, saw Jacob as fit for His purposes and not Esau. Jacob had nothing to brag about (just read about his life!) and Esau had no more reason for shame than Jacob had.

Likewise, God has chosen you and He has chosen me and the others who’ve seen this blessed hope to have this knowledge now. Why? Who knows? It isn’t for merit. We just happened to be sitting on the right square of the chessboard and have the ability to move in the particular direction He needs to move us. Should the knight brag because it is a knight? Did it do anything to make it worthy to be a knight? Did its merit cause the chess game to progress in a way that would make its particular ability relevant? I think that’s kind of our situation. We got it because we happen to be in a position to be useful, or for our children to be useful, or our associates with whom we’ve shared, or perhaps just as a particular mercy to us, to alleviate pain that might otherwise become unbearable. We honestly have no reason to boast.

#6

I bet this technique is probably in one of Randy’s suggestions but I’ll go ahead and say it “put yourself in their shoes” and see the path their life is taking them and where they are coming from and empathize with them but don’t necessarily sympathize with them. Look at them as Christ did. Occasionally, you can give a snarky response back (I do) in order to make them think about what they are really saying if that will help them. Other times just listen and smile and tell them “God bless you” like you never heard a thing. Keep it simple and stay humble. I’ll pray for you to have the humility that Christ has. The humility is yours now, take it.
Love, Nick

#7

I read this article today by marketer Seth Godin, but it also applies here: Your mood vs. your reality

#8

What IS “self-righteousness” anyway?
There seem to be a variety of understanding of this term.
What does it mean to you?

#9

Excellent, Paidion. I salute you in getting people to define their terms!

#10

Sorry this is a bit late, but as I describe self righteousness, as simply a sense of being supremely righteous, or more righteous than others. I would say that in a sense it would say that the only way to understand goodness or truth is my way. Or sees yourself as the source of righteousness.

#11
  1. Supremely righteous.
  2. More righteous than others.
  3. The only way to understand goodness or truth is my way.
  4. Sees myself as the source of righteousness.

Well, if these four define self-righteous, then it seems the Lord Jesus would qualify.

Here is the way Paul spoke of self-righteousness (a righteousness of my own making, based on the law), and how much better it is to possess the righteousness which is available through trust in Christ, the righteousness which Paul indicated in Titus 2 becomes available by the enabling grace of God. This is the genuine righteousness which becomes ours through our coöperation with God, our “working together with Him” so as not to accept the grace of God in vain (2 Cor 6:1)

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:8-14 ESV)

#12

Jesus is God in the flesh, and therefore is the source of all righteousness. Thats just how I best understand it. Where someone else claiming so just attempts to claim the title of God.

#13

I think self-righteousness is a bit more subtle in its operation, often hidden from the view of the one in whom it resides. There is nothing wrong with a strong revulsion for systems of dominion. The trick is to realize that without the grace of God and the humility and love He gives- we would be no different were we in charge, and probably be just as blind to it. Once I am delivered from hating perpetrators, I can finally be a voice against their evil works, and perhaps even merit stewardship in the kingdom of God.

#14

Amen, Eaglesway, I like your insight. Awesome website, by the way.

#15

I dont know about others, but I find that when we get too attached to particular theologies, or ways of looking at truth, that we can become self righteous. I recently wrote another post last week about rescuing Christianity from Reductionism.

#16

Always a danger. Systematic theology can amount to trying to put God in a box. Ain no box big enough tho. I know He keeps appearing outside of mine and I am immensely grateful for that. :slight_smile:

#17

I have come to see that much of the self righteousness I have is over experiencing some spiritual dryness, where sometimes it does not feel like God is truly present, or a truly personal God. So I think its hard to trust God, and therefore feel the need to be ones own God, rather than let some other force, whether the state, the market, society, nature, some impersonal force, or pagan superhuman. However, I find the more one becomes prideful, the more they hate other forms of pride. Yet, pride is intended as a defense mechanism against being dominated by anothers pride. However, it seems like ones own pride becomes dominating, and more paranoid about others pride.

#18

As I see it, love passes through and transcends pride, wisdom teaches us how to handle the pride of others, humility is stronger than arrogance, but comes only through a relationship with God(imo). This wisdom does not come by skipping along the surface(knowledge), it comes through our time upon the threshing floor of life- during which most of us get deivered from pride by our experiences, which involve both the discipline and the deliverance of the one who conquered pride as a humble servant.

#19

I have this self help book from Noah Elkrief about how believing our thoughts is a major cause of ones suffering. This reminds me of St. John of the Cross who stated that the Mind is an idol making machine. But I do agree that experience works better than mere intellectual assertions. For myself, I find that I have a much easier time understanding pride as a defense mechanism and hate due to being hurt, where it is hard to understand offensive pride and hate over difference. Like I can understand why some homosexuals have hostility against Fundamentalists, but it is harder for me to understand their hostility towards homosexuals.

#20

I do wonder if it is part of spiritual dryness to feel like one does not have an inherent dignity, and feeling vulnerable to degradation. So I find that one will feel the need to rely on ones own pride to preserve their dignity, and feel like another’s patronizing behavior is a threat to ones dignity.