I have a simple (or perhaps not-so-simple) question for you all: How do you pray? I think about God all the time, but my thoughts don’t become conversation as much as they should. I should pray more, but I honestly don’t know how. It’s such a rudimentary and embarrassing problem for a Christian – something I feel we’re just expected to understand. It’s a struggle I don’t like to admit I have.
When I try to pray, I find my mind wandering within seconds. I feel I have nothing new to tell God, and He has nothing new to say. I know silence itself can be a very holy thing, but I don’t have such a Quaker willpower. I wish for a bit of conversation. How have you all dealt with bland prayer? How do you pray throughout the day? Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.
It always works better if I journal, Kate. I write down what I say and what He says – otherwise I forget. Then as I go through the day I’m always talking to Him, though my mind is not usually quiet enough to hear any responses. Maybe I’ll get better eventually. I’ll come back later; got to go into town shortly. I hope that helps a little, though.
I thank God for various things, ask God what He thinks about various things, and (most importantly) ask Him what I should be doing. The latter is very likely to get an answer, even if it’s an answer I’d rather not hear.
God, to me, is not only the Master of the Universe; he is also my life coach. God’s goal for us is to become the best children we can be. As a parent, God trains us through every dilemma and every obstacle. Our prayer life assures that we give God the right to intercede on our behalf, or to guide us into understanding. As God has given us free will, and we are not robots, God asks us for permission before He acts. He does this by our prayer life and study of the bible. This symbiotic relationship, in turn, trains us to understand what God wants from us, and how we can do what we do better. God personally takes an interest in our life only if we are persistent in asking, seeking and knocking (Matthew 7:7).
Paul says to “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Daniel had to pray for 3 weeks before the angel answered his prayer. This is written for our instruction. Prayer is not intended as a ‘genie in a bottle’; it is intended as a long-term relationship. A life without prayer is a life without God. Many people forsake prayer, and this is often identifiable in their conduct, attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. Prayer is to the spirit what water is to the body. Just as we can become dehydrated, we can also become spiritually famished. “Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer”, Paul says again (Romans 12:12). That means that sometimes prayer will seem stale, but we must *persist in prayer *regardless.
Okay – another bit real quick because I should be fixing supper . . . when you pray for someone, it helps a lot to ask Father how He would like you to pray for that person. Otherwise you end up asking for all sorts of things you dig up that you think would work toward that person’s good – but you’re just guessing, aren’t you? And of course you end up praying the same things over and over once your imagination runs dry and, well, it just doesn’t work for me. Eventually I feel like I’m wasting my time and ought to just try to distract my mind from the problem because I’m no good at prayer.
BUT if I do ask Father how to pray for the person, it makes a huge difference. Even if I’m praying the same thing over and over I feel it’s okay because after all, that’s what He impressed on my heart to pray for. Thus a huge hindrance (and argument from the enemy) is nullified. I no longer fear I’m heaping up empty words even if I don’t see results right away (or even anytime soon). I’m praying for what Daddy said and it will be okay whenever it CAN be okay.
I will have to try a journal, Cindy. I typically prefer writing to speaking, but sometimes I get so caught up in writing something decently comprehensible, that the process loses its joy. That’s why I haven’t gravitated to the idea of a prayer journal sooner-- I don’t want prayer to feel like an “assignment.” (Then again, I don’t feel like writing on here is an assignment, as it is very helpful in clearing my mind, so I’ll have to give prayer journaling a try.)
I like that, Stef.
How do you keep your own thoughts from blocking the still small voice which is God?
Kate, I’m not sure what you will make of this post, but I haven’t intentionally prayed a lot over the last few months and generally have done little over the last two years — notwithstanding my sporadic attempts at prayer retreats and Quaker meetings. I do not hear the still small voice. I never have. And it was making me increasingly angry and upset to listen (part of which extends to my thoughts in Johnny’s thread), so I largely stopped seeking it in this way. I don’t think it’s wrong to cease petitioning or listening to God in an intentional sense. I think there are innumerable and diverse ways in which God might call us (as individuals) to commune with him, and therefore it’s still my habit to have frequent conversation with God. Nevertheless, when I do pray intentionally, I have a comfortable place where I can observe the heavens and look out upon local residences, and I light a candle when I do (which I recommend). One thing I recommend doing if you’re into petitionary prayer is praying for the person you dislike (or hate) the most. It mightn’t change them, but it will certainly change you (it’s a good Mennonite trick ). Godspeed with your prayers, sister.
Thanks, Andrew. I wonder if this itself can be a prayer or sorts. I think I do this throughout the day. Even though I often find little to say or hear from God, I find myself seeking Him – trying to understand Him – in the writings of others. I wonder if that is another sense of prayer.
In my case that’s super-hard, because my brain is never quiet. (I burn about 3 pounds of energy every night just dreaming – I’m exhausted every morning when I wake up. )
Still, thanking God for various things doesn’t need an answer per se, that’s just being appreciatively grateful; and asking the other two things allows basic answers to come through, since I’m specifically seeking that which I’m not currently thinking.
There are certainly many times when I have no idea what God wants me to do in regard to Big Things in my life (including Big Painful Things). Even when I ask about them, though, while I may get no large scale answer, I routinely get small scale answers about what I ought to be doing. I’m not very good about doing them, but I still try to appreciate the answers, even though they aren’t the answers I want. Obviously I ought to be doing the little things I get answers about.
(I don’t like talking about this much, though, because I don’t want people to treat me as a prophet. I don’t have that kind of authority.)
I would highly recommend a book called “God Is Closer Than You Think” by John Ortberg. The idea is basically this - God is with you always. He is all around you, revealing Himself in the wind, and the flowers, in the conversations you have with both friend and adversary, in the bread you eat, and in the buzzing of the bees. So try to make prayer a natural thing - think of time you spend with friends. If you are spending time with a good friend, do you have to stop whatever you are doing with them every once in a while and say “ok, now it’s time for us to converse - let’s start off properly: dear [friend’s name], you are so wonderful and you’d done so many things for you, I thank you for this and that, and I have these requests…” No, that would be a rather awkward friendship. No, you spend time with this friend, aware of his/her presence, and as you’re doing things with them you talk to them about what you’re doing, or about this movie you just watched, or about something that happened to you, or about a concern you have…etc. Try to talk to God the same way - try to make Him a natural part of your life like that. I know it’s not easy to get the habit started, and some times it’s more natural than others.
Yep, with you all the way here, Andrew. I feel that prayer is an utter waste of time, mostly. Kate said it in her OP - “I feel I have nothing new to tell God, and He has nothing new to say”. Well certainly we have nothing new to say to God - perfect goodness must know what is best for us, and will always desire the best for us, so nothing we can pray will suddenly make him go, “oh right, I never thought of doing that good thing for Johnny; but since he’s prayed for it, I will”.
Petitionary prayers - prayers that people we love or care about will recover from illness, for example - are likewise a waste of time. Think about it for a moment. Can it be right that God isn’t going to heal your dying wife or brother or daughter, until someone - or enough people - pray for their recovery. You guys don’t pray, God lets them die. You guys pray hard enough, maybe, just maybe, he lets them live.
Thanks God! You’re all heart!
And doesn’t the Bible tell us God never changes? So if he bows to our prayers, doesn’t that change him?
Ok Johnny. Sorry for any disrespect. If you have experienced that God is negligent in your life, or that prayer life is mute for you, then you no doubt have sincere reasons for thinking this.
Thanks, Cindy! I have to rush off to a late-night lecture soon, but I will definitely give that article you wrote a good look later this evening. So far, I just caught the part about you “hibernating” – Haha, I love that!
I’m sorry you feel this way, Johnny, even if it is often the way I feel myself, if I am being honest with things. However, I don’t believe prayer is a waste of time – and I don’t believe you do either, from other things I’ve heard from your kind heart. After all, Jesus commands us to pray, giving us a format in the Our Father if we are stumped for words ourselves. So if Jesus told us to do it, then surely prayer must be good and beneficial?
Why, just yesterday we told dear Dick that we’d be praying for him and his mother. Now, as I pray, I feel my sad little petitions for a friend’s peace through heartache are, indeed, feeble. But I continue to pray, nonetheless, hoping that–in some way I do not know and cannot feel–my prayers have traveled safely to South London. And I must, deep down, believe that prayer has some merit, because I pray regardless.
I think Johnny does raise some good questions that also harbor in my soul, even if I don’t care to admit it. So if anyone would like to take a stab at it, I’d enjoy hearing everyone’s thoughts on this.
In the meantime, Johnny, I hope that you are at peace. I’ve think similarly about God’s not truly listening when I feel especially down-and-out, and I hope that you are not feeling caught up in the shadowlands. If so, you’ve got friends here.
I’m not sure I would go so far as to say that petitionary prayer is a waste of time — it is good and beneficial for all. But I don’t believe praying for Dick and his mother will inspire God to act any more forcibly than he is already acting. Like Johnny, I wonder whether a prayer like this betrays a belief that God does not always act for our general health (or anything else for that matter). Dick and his mother are frequently in my thoughts, and I hope that offers Dick (and perhaps his mother) some comfort. I will have a crack at why I personally think petitionary prayer is important though:
1. It gives comfort to its objects to know they are frequently and sympathetically thought of, and insofar as our petitions are for the moral development and good choices of others, inspires them to do such. 2. It provides a time and space for those who pray to purify their character and their desires to things that are truly good (like the health of God’s creation; as opposed to simply wanting thicker biceps) which vicariously delights God. (An obvious note: devilish prayers do not fall upon divine ears, and turn us into devils). 3. It invites us to direct God’s divine action with thoughtful petitions, where two or more possibilities are of equal benevolence. 4. Such expressions of kindness inspire those spirits who inflict humans with trials, ailments, natural evils and other suffering, to soften or relent from their misdeeds.
I think it’s mistaken to believe that God cannot change, even though his moral character remains the same always (which is what I believe the Bible properly refers to, regarding immutability).
Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes. I think you both speak the truth here. I don’t actually think prayer is a waste of time, that was hyperbole reflecting the low spiritual ebb at which I am currently. I agree with all your reasons why petitionary prayer is worthwhile and beneficial, Andrew - except, as you would expect from me, number 4 . I think it’s particularly important for those undergoing trials, as our dear Dick is currently, to know they are loved and cared for by others.
I also think petitionary prayer helps us to focus on others, which is good for them as it leads us to think about what we ourselves can do to help, outside of praying for them. I also think it is beneficial for us, as it helps us to draw near to God, and in the process avoid morbid introspection, which is a destructive state of mind.
What I do not believe, with you Andrew, is that petitionary prayer somehow ‘persuades’ God to do something he might not otherwise have done. And in that sense petitionary prayer is indeed, as Lewis argued, “a problem without an answer”.
Good on you Johnny. I know you are in other peoples hearts and minds here too. You have managed to become very endearing to many others. I am certain that God holds you in his firm grip. God sometimes seems slow concerning His promises. He is just patient.
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